To Curious Eyes:
My dad quit smoking recently. Whenever we would get into arguments, I’d always use that against him. You could say, in a way, it was my way of diverting. When I asked him what had made him finally quit, he said, “I don’t want to create my own weakness.” Not giving it much thought at the time, I just went about the evening.
But for some reason, as I sit here, with my A.P. Biology text book sitting by me, and my summer assignment still uncompleted, I can’t get his response out of my mind. Perhaps it is because I am tensed about my future. I am well aware that I have a brutal school year coming up, but I am not ready to face it. Sometime within the next 2 weeks, I have to complete two AP summer assignments, Summer Reading, and make a plan for the school year. Somehow.
Though this delay is not completely due to the evil of procrastination (there was potential for moving across the country), I still find myself in the midst of an epiphany. Why do I so easily create my own hurdles? Though not all of my difficulties are my own fault, with some self reflection, I have come to the thought that it is imperative for me to bring some changes upon myself. The time for my mistakes to slide by is over. I have to take responsibility for myself, set my own deadlines, and make my own judgments. More importantly, I should be able to stick to my decisions.
These changes do not just happen over me, they take work. And perhaps I am simply saying this from the spur of the moment, but I think now’s the best time to begin.
I am Perfect. Ha, if only.