To Curious Eyes:
This whole world is a stupid world based on stupid contradictions. No one can stick to one set of rules. I am sick of trying to follow the rules only to find out that there is yet another twist. I know my limits that combine with our moral and ethical values. I know that I can’t take every opportunity that society has to offer. And I don’t. although I have serious limitations imposed on me, every time I try to find something that doesn’t break the rules it gets rejected. Why are people trying to confuse me? First they tell me that there are certain things I can’t to. Then they tell me that I should change my interests so it fits in with their acceptance level? You make the rules. I follow the rules. But then you make another rule. And then you try to disguise that with throwing in an aspect of guilt in the midst. I am not buying that.
Oh yes. I am so many things. I am stupid, I am wrong. I am dumb. I don’t have as much experience. I don’t follow rules. I don’t listen. I argue. I ask too many questions. I am not smart enough because I call people to help me understand something which I never learned. I am overweight. I am a bad child. Do you want to know why I am all of these things?
Because I am human. Because I am a child. Because I am still learning. But you need to give me a chance to learn.
I know we are not from here. We are from a totally different society. But I feel like we are scared. We, like anyone in history believe we are right. We are right. Just because we are in a new place doesn’t excuse us do go about and do what so ever we wish to do. Just because we are in a new place doesn’t mean that we forget our core beliefs. But I want it to be known that it is not easy for me either. Every day, I am expected to go out there and battle the evil society which might as well be a pile of quicksand ready to trap you in its complicated webs, and then I have to report to you. I know I have done something bad when I can’t show you my face. If I can suggest something to you and bring back something, it is because I truly, honestly, from the bottom of my heart do not deem it to be bad. If I am wrong, just let me know why so I don’t bring something back like that again. Imagine being in my situation. Imaging living such a life where every day you are challenged like that.
I know at times I am wrong. They say “Humans learn from their mistakes”. I know that you are there to protect me, but also help me grow up.
I know that I am an individual who is bound in such a lovable relations with those who care for her. Some people aren’t blessed enough to even have that. Don’t take this the wrong way. I am extremely thankful.
But please don’t contradict what you say. It confuses the heck out of me. Part of me wants to obey you like a pet, but the other part is full of questions. How can I learn if I still don’t get it?
I am Perfect. Ha, if only.